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You are not alone
Women often think that it is only happening to them. But domestic abuse is very common. Research shows that it affects one in five women in Scotland.

It can happen to anyone, in any walk of life. It doesn’t matter what age you are, how much money you have, where you live, what your ethnic background is, or whether you have children or not.

You are not to blame
Many women feel ashamed about the abuse and do not tell anyone what is happening. But, if you are abused, it is not your fault. No matter what you say or do, no one deserves to be abused. The person responsible is the abuser. He has a choice.

What you can do
You may feel isolated, confused and not know where to turn to for help. There are many agencies which can help. They know about domestic abuse and they will listen to what you say and believe you.

Confiding in a friend often helps too. But make sure that this is someone you trust.

It can be very hard to decide what to do if you are being abused. You may not want to end your relationship with your partner. You may love him and hope that he will change. He may promise that it will never happen again. You may be concerned about disrupting the children. And you may be worried about where you would go, how you would manage for money, or whether you would ever be safe.

These are complicated decisions and you may need help to work out what to do so that you and your children can be safe whether or not you stay with your partner. It is OK to change your mind, and agencies understand that you may do so.

To talk about how you feel and to discuss your options, you can phone the Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0800 027 1234 (24 hours) and East Lothian Women’s Aid on 0131 665 9552. You do not have to give your name. They will not put any pressure on you to leave your partner.

You have a right to live your life free of fear and abuse. Many women get away from the abuse and make new lives for themselves and their children although it may take many attempts.

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